Who, Me?

Cut to the Chez

"I Put a Spell On You" Bette Midler

Ah, Halloween. To some, the final day of October is a day of costumes and confections, while for others it means a lot of small callers at the front door that won't leave unless bribed with sweets; for still others, it's but a low key night for horror films or other such appropriate entertainment.

For me, All Hallow's Eve is when I invariably look out the window and declare, "Look! Another glorious morning. Makes me SICK!" and proceed to emulate Bette Midler at numerous points throughout the day (in other words, a normal day). The Divine Miss M has bestowed a number of fantastic gems upon the world of fabulosity over the years - "I'm Beautiful," the Rose, Beaches - but none of them brings me (and, I suspect, a good number of my contemporaries in age) nearly the amount of sheer cult classic glee as Hocus Pocus. Yes, in 1993 (!), the fire-haired diva teamed up with Disney, comedian Kathy Najimy, hot off Sister Act, and Sarah Jessica Parker, who in those pre-Sex and the City times was mainly known for turns in L.A. Story, the short-lived sitcom Square Pegs, and a handful of stints on the Great White Way to make a Halloween comedy for kids.

The fabulously silly tale of three youth-obsessed 17th century witches brought back to life by a misfit teenager was directed by Kenny Ortega, now known for directing the High School Musical series and Michael Jackson - This Is It, the film Ortega scrapped together when the singer died of an overdose weeks before his Ortega-directed farewell concert series. But back then, Kenny Ortega had but one credit under his belt, and while Newsies is probably nearly as beloved among many of my fellow Hocus Pocus devotees, it was definitely not so at the time (the Alan Menken movie musical about a newsboy strike that starred a young Christian Bale, featured Razzie-nominated turns from Robert Duvall and Ann-Margret, and was one of the greatest box office debacles of the early 1990s).

Sadly, Ortega, who is adept at least at staging musical numbers for film if nothing else, gets only one brief chance in Hocus Pocus, and it's less a production number than an obvious concession made on Midler's contract (Miss Midler must have a song, and it shall be fabulous or no deal). But Midler's diva-tastic cover of "I Put a Spell On You" is the rare shining beacon of win in an otherwise uneven film: it's a terrific comedic sequence, but it also completely fits into the plot, certainly far more than one might expect from a one-off song-and-dance number in a kid's movie. It's so utterly Bette Midler, right down to the "Hello, Salem! My name's Winifred! What's yours?" and seeing Najimy and Parker effortlessly slide into their impromptu backup singer roles always got a nice guffaw from us clueless children who were entirely unaware of anything about Bette Midler's public image or career.

And on this Halloween, the first since I began this lovely blog, I'm passing on the joy to you all! Pick up a copy of Hocus Pocus tonight, or just take a listen to a couple minutes of nostalgic camp madness. Either way, Happy Halloween!

To the Left

Smirk

All Wet

Pecs

Shady

Ke$ha - "We R Who We R"

Since Cannibal is but a Fame Monster style add-on to the upcoming re-release of Ke$ha's surprise smash debut album Animal, it makes sense that (as with Gaga and Fame Monster) the singer's meticulously scripted plotline - you know, the trashy girl who parties a lot, uses whiskey as oral hygeine tool and doesn't wash her hair - isn't exactly going to be tossed out the window just yet. But, at least on lead single "We R Who We R," neither is it dominant, or even particularly evident at all (although final judgment shall be reserved for the music video), and that suits Ke$ha just fine. She's not working with filet mignon material with the musically and lyrically facile Dr. Luke-produced track, which is likely destined to be the most forgettable of her five singles thus far, although like any Dr. Luke production the mediocrity is impeccably done, and I've learned from experience that the producer has created as many slow-burning hits as he has instant and unforgettable smashes, so I may well end up eating my words down the line.

If anything, "We R Who We R" should serve as a nice placeholder on the Billboard Hot 100 while we impatiently wait to hear what glorious head-exploding madness the Nashville-raised pop ingenue makes with hardcore hip-hop producer Bangladesh in their reported collaboration(s?) on Cannibal. And, anyway, it's a nice track to play behind those "It Gets Better" videos, and goodness knows that's a far more important issue than RCA's last wringing of dollar signs from its surprise breakout star before she takes over her career and unleashes her genius on the world in a manner not seen since a certain Swedish teenage tool of Max Martin who went on to become Robyn, the killingest pop star on the planet.

Far-fetched? The Ke$ha Project is here to find out.

Lift Me Up